At the end of Monday Writers (4th April), we read Fricatives by Eric Yip, the winning poem of The Poetry Society’s National Poetry Competition 2021. This initiated a conversation about learning English as a second language and how many different languages are often spoken in one country. There are multiple ones spoken in the UK. According to Wikipedia, there are 14 recognised indigenous ones (5 Celtic, 3 Germanic, 3 Romance and 3 sign languages) and multiple others from around the world, mainly European and Asian.

There are also numerous regional dialects. Sometimes, you only have to travel to another area of your home country to hear or speak unfamiliar words and phrases. The following poem originated from that idea. Although I now live in Nottinghamshire, it is written in the vernacular of my home town in the northeast of England. Read it aloud.

Middlesbrough Tale-telling

Someone spragged.
Couldn’t keep their neb out,
couldn’t keep their gob shut.
Told they heard Jimmy’s lass say,
‘Owi wi us Billy, youse on a promise, our lad’s away.’

Billy’s got a bust lip,
a keggy swollen blue-black.
Face looks like roadkill
mollied by a motorbike.
He sits in the corner,
guzzling Newky Brown. 
Shouts outs he’s mafted, takes off
his coat and gansey, sits in his
shirtsleeves and glugs two more down.
Yells that he’s nithered, puts his togs back on.
Starts yarpin’ loudly,
dripping tears into beer.
Davey goes over, offers another
bottle of dog, ses,
‘Aw, what’sa marra, bairn?’
Billy ses, ‘A vegetable.’

He’s palatic now.
Goes to stand up, slides down the wall.
Face like a busted custard,
he’s away with the mixer,
staring into space.

Image: The iconic Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge